


Rainy Days

by Uzulover



Series: Behind the veil [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Everyone Needs A Hug, Explicit Language, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 04:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18933025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uzulover/pseuds/Uzulover
Summary: Steve finds Tony again.





	Rainy Days

**Author's Note:**

> There are sad bois here. Also swearing.

He's found again, two months later.   
Sitting in a quiet corner of a desolate cafe, sipping on a cup of coffee with his mother's favourite song in his ears.

He's wearing glasses now, as he blankly stares at the proposals on the uneven table that rocks every time he moves. 

It's raining, but the pitter patter escapes him.   
The music manages to drown out the world.  
So when a hulking blonde sits down in the vacant seat in front of him, he looks up with a frown.   
He's scruffier now. Older too. The beard makes Tony's fingers itch, makes him want to do something foolish like reach out and touch his face. Instead, he taps the table with his pen.   
"Business?" The man asks as Tony takes out the ear bud from his right ear.   
"Yeah" Tony says and adds a sigh. The man, squirms a little in his seat as exasperated eyes fall on him. He turns and sees Natasha sipping on some awful green tea, listening to Sam as he chattered away, some tables away from them. "Do you want something?" Tony asks and when he turns, he takes notice of the fading flush on the other man's face. 

"I wanted to see you" the other man admits and Tony doesn't say anything. "I needed to see you" he adds and takes off the baseball cap from his head. Tony nearly smiles at the way the man splutters as hair falls over his face in a mess.   
"I meant coffee" Tony says and the man flushes in embarassment. He watches with a sort of detachment as red spills over his ears, watches as the few freckles are brought to life by the colour.   
He thinks back to what Pepper had once told him, "He's the closest that humanity has gotten at perfection, but even the great Captain is flawed"   
"I already ordered" the man says and Tony nods. "You look better" he adds and greets the waitress with a smile that makes her flush, as she places his cup on the table. Tony pushes his papers back into his folder, listening vaguely as the girl flirts with him for a few minutes before walking off with an extra sway of her hips.  
"Yeah well, Vision has been feeding us" he says and he rolls his eyes as the man beams at him. Fucking beams. Who the fuck beams?   
"I'm glad" the man sighs and blows on his coffee. The sight curls his toes and dries his throat. The other man smiles at him when he's caught. "Saw you on the news the other day" he throws out and Tony listens to the rain a little.

It reminds him of the only man who loved him enough not to hurt him. The only one who cared about Tony, who existed behind the Stark, the boy who could never be good enough for a father who chased after dead heroes and a mother who could never be strong enough to choose the son over the husband. The man who looked after the sweet child and who made sure that at least one person on Earth could say that they truly loved Tony Stark.   
Even when his father ruthlessly liked to remind him that they paid Jarvis to be there, that he didn't ever truly cared, that it had been his job.   
"It's in our blood. A curse from generation to generation that makes sure that no one can remain in love with a Stark" his father had hissed at him, on the night that his father always observed, a sort of mourning for the great Captain that had fallen, on the night when Tony had bothered to check on the old drunk.   
"It's been busy" he says as the other man continues to stare at him.   
"I see that" the man says and sips on his coffee, hissing when it burns his tongue. Tony nearly cracks, nearly laughs at the giant dork but manages to look away at the right moment. He sees the way Natasha and Sam smirk at him, the way the three converse without words, the blantant display of a shared trust that makes Tony burn and ache.  
He watches out of the corner of his eyes as the man dabs the napkin at his mouth, watches as the girl returns to fuss over him, watches as he laughs with her at his dorky joke, assuring her that he's fine, watches as she finally leaves, and as he continues to chuckle.   
This Steve is so much different that the Steve from a year ago. This is the Steve he had caught glimpses of, the Steve that came up with silly nicknames, who stopped even in the middle of a mission to speak with kids, to reassure them that their parents were okay, who loved the world even though it had left him behind.   
"You found yourself" Tony says and the man blinks at him. He looks away again as the man's entire face softens.   
"Yeah. I uh, I did" he confirms and Tony nods as he takes a gulp of his own luke warm coffee.  
"That's good" Tony says and looks at his watch. He has five more minutes before Pepper calls to find out exactly where he is. He closes the folder and under Steve's gaze, he makes the decision to run again.   
"I know you don't want to hear it, but I am sorry you know" Steve says and Tony stops packing so he can look at him.

Tony feels the need to spit out the venom that's stuck in his mouth, that tears at his tongue, that wants to pulls the very air from his lungs, leaving him with a kind of dizziness that promises darkness, the kind of hatred that destroys the man.

Tony watches the tears that cling to fair eyelashes, feels the sorrow that seeps into every pore of the man sitting before him and feels his heart beat for him.

A year ago, this Steve only existed in seconds at a time.   
And knowing that he isn't the one who stood by his side, to be there for such a transformation, kills him.   
"What are you sorry for?" Tony asks, as he sits back on his chair. He's angry, can feel it burning at his cheeks, clawing at his throat.   
"For not being the man who deserved your love" Steve whispers and Tony clenches his fists.

Fuck.

He can hear the wind howling outside, can see how the lights flicker over head, how the door bells chimes at the way the door is slammed from the forceful gale, can feel the cold inching closer to his skin.   
It's almost as cold as that dirty Siberian floor, laying in a casket of decimated metal, aching with broken ribs and a shattered heart.   
Almost as cold as those eyes who faced down at him, mocking him with its resignation as the shield beared down on him with an unforgiving justice.   
Like Tony's death would be unevitable, something sad but never tragic.   
Tony breathes out the anger and shakes at the loss of its heat.   
It leaves him empty.  
He looks away when Steve uses the napkin to soak up the tears that refused to fall.   
"When I was younger, I hated you" Tony confesses and Steve sharply inhales at the words. "Couldn't for the life of me, understand why Howard loved you, a man he blarily knew, when he couldn't even stand to remain three minutes in the presence of his son. I hated myself, because I could never live up to you, and hated the man who made Howard happy like his family never could. In my childish folly, it was easier to blame you for turning him into such a cold man and when I got older, I hated you again. Because I realized he was the problem, and only you could be the solution, that only you deserved his love, like not even Mom or me could. But when I met you, even when we were dicks to each other-" Tony pauses with a wistful shake of the head that makes Steve fucking flinch.

"I realized why Howard and Aunt Peg loved you so much. You have this power that draws people to you, that demands loyalty, that makes it easy for men to follow you into war just because you asked them to. You were always a brilliant leader but more than that, you have always been a better man. Someone so kind, so selfless, someone so true to his own morals, who never faltered, never in the face of righteousness" he says and reaches out to Steve who doesn't look like he's breathing. "So when I asked you if you knew" Tony whispers and Steve recoils, pulling away so quickly his elbow hits the edge of the table and his coffee spills into the surface, brown sticky substance staining the wood.

"I could not for the life of me, understand how you could lie to me for so many months. How you could pretend for so long even when you laid down with me on those shitty nights, when you pressed your forehead against mine just to make the trembling stop, when we cried together about dead mothers, when I opened up to you about Howard and his asshole tendencies, even when I confessed to you, whispering in those tender silences about how much I missed him even when I hated him, even after all of that, even when we promised never to hurt each again and still look me in the eye, like my pain was never a priority.... it destroyed me" he whispers, and by the time he's finishes, his own cheeks are soaking wet. Steve is crying too, his eyes downcast, focused on his lap.

"How do we recover from this?" he pleads but Steve doesn't have any answers for him and doesn't offer any promises either. Tony, when he finally has regained the last of his strength, he manages to wipe his face. As he gets up, Steve's shoulders are shaking now.

  
"I'm so sorry" Steve stammers out and Tony smiles, something half as broken as he is.   
"Me too" he replies and without hesitation, he steps outside and into the welcoming arms of the thunderstorm. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read the entire thing, then you know this is sad.   
> This is not a fix it series.  
> So if you're a masochist like me, welcome!  
> In fact, this can only be described as "mostly canon with subtextual Stony after a breakup aka Civil War".   
> I was attempted to rename the series Sad Bois, but I'm too lazy.   
> Ps: I have this headcanon that Steve is really awkward at random flirting, but when it comes to the person he likes, he's a smooth operator. Idk. What do you think?


End file.
